The big debate

Kind regards from the Eastern Cape . After debating with my friends for almost an hour about this, I decided to bring it to a larger audience. It’s all about dowry or what is known as ‘lobola ’ in south Africa. Well I have no problem with its context in South Africa as such, as it is used for the white wedding apparently. My problem is in Kenya where it disappears into thin air soon after it lands in the hands of the in-laws. And no, my culture and morals have not been eroded but how does one put a price on a human being? Well South Africa included too in this case. Why not let the couple decide how big a wedding they want instead of putting a tag on it. I have never wrapped my head around the negotiating or should I say bargaining for another human being. It feels like one is being sold. Parents, when you put a price tag on your daughter and they spend all they have in the dowry to please you, do you honestly expect them to go live happily as I would imagine you would want them to? Before you nod yes, think of it this way, after they have left all they have in your ‘shop’, how do you expect her to live in a dream house soon after the wedding? Doesn’t this occur to parents as they demand a cheque?

Here is my thinking, if dowry is meant to thank the parents, how about we let the gentlemen decide to bring that which they can comfortably afford. Then, that is a gift. But when you put a tag on your daughter, it becomes business. Gone are the days people lived on hunting and gathering. Probably then one would be asked to show his prowess by bringing a beehive. Running around trying to gather 50000R is no way to show prowess!!!! If you think demanding dowry is justified, please make me understand. Because that is no way I want to live my life!!

A letter to the brothers

Yesterday I had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine who is in a long distance relationship, which got me thinking if men really know what girls want. Men want to think that we girls are high maintenance while on the contrary we are very simple complexities. What does a girl want? One answer; the simple things in life. Your expensive dinners and jewelry might have some impact but the two paramount things girls thrive on are time and an ear. We need someone to care enough to listen to our little nothings and our thoughts. We might not admit it often but we want to be constantly on your mind. A simple ‘I miss you’ or ‘thinking about you’ text or note, might go to greater lengths than a 5 star roof top dinner!!!! Especially long distance relationships. In your physical absence gentlemen, don’t be fooled by ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’. Maybe it does. But out of sight + out of constant communication = out of heart. Sad but true. Do not expect to have a priority in someone’s life if u not making an effort to make it so. Enough said. So brothers as u live your life, have that in mind!!!!!!

Borrowed page

       

Today I will share with you something I read and found very interesting:

‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination. It is our light more than our darkness which scares us. We ask ourselves – who are we to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, and fabulous. But honestly, who are you to not be so?  You are a child of God; small games do not work in this world. For those around us to feel peace, it is not example to make ourselves small. We were born to express the glory of God that lives in us. It is not in some of us; it is in all of us. While we allow our light to shine, we unconsciously give permission for others to do the same. When we liberate ourselves from our own fears, simply our presence may liberate others.’

Marianne Williamson

Snappy Trips

I hurried out of the cab into the windy coastal rain and reached into my purse; that I held close to my chest,  for my keys which I dropped in my hurry. I Grabbed them quickly and as I entered my backyard missed the very stepped I had taken every day!!! I almost fell!!!! Not from a clumsy walk mind you. Nope, I was rushing to catch my favourite soap!!!! Ridiculous right? Why on earth do we girls insist on watching these soaps, while we know very well how it’s going to end!!! And it’s like a disease we catch in the shortest time possible. I have hardly been here 3 months and already I am almost breaking my neck over what I now fondly call ‘my favourite soap’. Worse still, the soap took a turn that just ruined my night. And to think those people are getting paid to do their work, and here I am running from mine to watch them work!!! And almost breaking my neck while at it!!! But again we are living our lives right?

Timeline

Greetings, good people! Today technology caught up with snappy and yes she is technically challenged I have to admit; as Knight mentions countless times. So finally I did change my facebook outlook to the timeline view and even had a chance to edit what I wanted to stay on my wall and what I wanted out. How awesome is that? As I scrolled down the timeline, it was like traveling back in time. I saw how quickly and swiftly my life has taken unexpected turns. I couldn’t help mixed feelings of anger, joy, regret, achievement and even anticipation plus euphoria. It was a moment of reality check which prior to this, I had never done. So I thought to myself, if life did have a timeline and we were given a chance to edit some scenes, what impact would it have on us? And would we jump to the idea or shy as far away as possible from the slightest chance of doing so? Just a thought .

lil Ninja

So, today is one of those days I woke up to a mindless conversation with my neighbour’s 9 month old son. We’ll call him ‘lil Ninja’ ( he has this thing of wanting to climb in through my window). Not that I get a word he says, nope but he has a way of listening to me and what I am feeling amidst his baby talk without being judgmental. Better still, he doesn’t remember a word I say, 2 seconds after it’s out of my mouth!!! Awesome right? He always leans forward with a smile, as if to listen more keenly or so I think. This little angel has me thinking, aren’t babies the best therapists ever? Non-judgmental and secretive.

 Babies are also the strongest things on earth, they can face their worst nightmare (probably being wet or hungry, I mean what worse feeling could a baby get?) one minute and the next minute they are screaming in joy drying their tears!!!! Plus they don’t know how to hate, and are go getters; when they want they want amongst many other awesome personalities.

We could definitely do with borrowing a few pages from babies’ books as we live our lives!!!!