I am stupefied ,by the autonomy of my feelings.
By the intensity of my thoughts. Thoughts bewildered by my emotions.
Do they mirror in my eyes.
Do you hear them echo in my voice?
Are they depicted in the gentleness of my mannerisms?
Are my efforts to suppress them betrayed?
Can u see my lips shy away from yours?
Can u feel my heart fight to capture the passion in yours?
Can u hear my voice whisper your name in the dimness of the world?
Can u see my eyes search for yours in this crowd that consumes me?
Thoughts of having you near make my heart burst, my palms sweat, my breath quickens.
As if about to run from a wild beast but the only thing in front of me is you.
The only thing that frightens me, is you.
You who have the authority to destroy the sanity within my mind.
The only one who can bring my very soul peace yet cause the serenity to crumble into chaos.
Within an instant of seeing your eyes, my every fibre is filled with the need to escape yet the want to be captured.
Bound in your arms as if my very essence depended on your touch.
My entirety wants nothing more than to tell you, ney shake you, fight you and yet deny you the pleasure of being my capture.
With every passing day the thought of you weakens yet when I stand in your glowing presence everything is merely melted away.
The past becomes a distant history, the present is nothing but that moment and the future once again looks bright.
However once you leave and I realize what has transpired and what the present really entails,
Every atom of the earth crumbles once more and the realization of the reality causes such pain, no drug can ever cure.
The only relief is a blade that slices through the flesh of the hopes and dreams, once held by a child who would pray and wish on every star.
The blade that now lies beside a broken and shattered fairytale, whose very ideal is bleeding from the fragments.
And after all of this I am still stupefied by the existence of feeling.
I am still mesmerized by the unadulterated love in my heart for you.
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